I haven't learned the art of finding the right match in terms of finding a Life Partner. A lot of things play a direct role and a lot more things play a direct role.
Direct Roles
- Education
- Job
- Salary
- Religion / Divisions / Sub Divisions
- Parents Job / Education
Indirect Roles
- LifeStyle
- Priorities
- Beliefs
- Parents Expectations vs Kids Expectations
- Sibling Expectations
- Location
Step #1 - What gets attention is from the filters that are 'Satisfy this education', 'This divisions/sects', ' > this salary'
Observation - Only in movies we can find rich-poor love and love beyond borders. In real life when everything is measured there is no such movie-style stories
Step #2 - Originality vs Authenticity
Observation - All that glitters is not gold. People with sole intention to cheat will be caring, supportive, appear as near perfect individuals. In real life, I have observed authentic people labeled as 'Workaholic', 'Beyond Normal Person', 'Money Minded', ' Calculative'.
A lot of indirect factors come into play during conversations, planning, and preparations. Everything is important to be successful in life. Physics, Chemistry, and biology.
Step #3 - Call it off if it Hurts
Observation - It's better to call it off early than having a bad start. A lot of indirect factors affect the future. In this lifestyle of working - earning - save a little - plan a little - live a little there are lot of things needed in terms of preparedness. At least 80% mindset needs to match in Physics. Chemistry will be a match assuming it never fails the first few months of meeting a new person.
Step #4 - Apologize and Move on for Hidden Dowry Agenda
Observation - Guy needs dowry, girl needs a money tree. Both this mindset is prone to failure. Earning is a skill, spending is a skill, saving is a skill. Unless you clarity for all three you can never maintain a decent lifestyle till the end. If you have a lot of different perspectives in earning, spending, saving call it off.
Step #5 - Lust
Observation - With a lot of social media, lifestyle changes this is a debatable topic on what is the line of relationship and how to draw a line in the relationship. What goes around comes around. A mistake repeated again becomes a habit. Its always better to stand a few steps before the limits than regretting things done.
Step #6 - Regret
Observation - It takes an average of 3~6 months to convince a girl. A lot of indirect factors come into play during this period. You virtually know the compatibility and personality type differences in this period. After you call it off it doesn't work. This takes a lot of regret, worry, guilt. No matter who breaks up, It always hurts the person on both sides.
Step #7 - Call out Everything
Observation - Nothing can cure pain or console someone who is affected. Emotional trauma from parents, families take a toll in this process. With both genders equally educated, working living their lives it becomes even more challenging to match at all emotional and psychological levels.
Find someone whom you can talk openly on indirect factors first then talks about direct factors.
Keep Thinking!!!
