Alain de Botton - The Future Of The Way We Live, Love And Work



Love in Romanticism Age

  • Tolerated your partner at early ages
  • We are all heirs of Romanticism
  • Context and society dependant love
  • The way we love in dependant on Society
  • Romanticism is an ideology. It says soulmate exists
  • Instinctive attraction comes when we meet the special person
  • Definitive end of Alienation and Loneliness
  • Reveal shamed and Vulnerability 
  • Tied to long summer afternoons, Walks, Waterfalls, Sunsets, Clouds, Special feelings
  • Love and sex go together
  • Romantics believe sex is an expression of love. So, Adultery becomes the tragedy in Romanticism
  • Romanticism is the greatest enemy of love
  • We are not pure, kind, living beings, We are dangerous human beings
  • Relationships are tricky, Mothers and friends do not care much
  • People are not bothered to invest in mutual enlightenment
  • Earlier times marriage has a reason (Religion / Caste)
  • Now it is instinct
  • Recreating pattern of earlier childhood
  • We are drawn to people we feel familiar
  • Special feeling means they didn't satisfy your friends requirement for suffering
  • Being yourself is a curse
  • FUll dimensions are troublesome
  • Early days liberating love
  • Later conflict between love and honesty
  • Moment of loneliness begins
  • There is no such intuitive understanding
  • This is also a disaster
  • Long term without speaking its not possible
  • Outbreak of sulking
  • There is no implicit understanding
  • Accept whole of you
  • Awkward movements of critics
  • Breach is not criticism
  • Greek believed love is an attraction to perfection, virtue, and accomplishment
  • Weakness, Vulnerability is human
  • Mutual education is love
  • The good teacher feels relaxed, a legitimate feeling
  • Long-Term Love is not shouting
  • No humiliation
  • Education is beginning of love, not a breach of love
  • Education is not a betrayal of ground rules of love

Love in Realistic Perspective

  • Reinvent Love
  • Get away from instinct
  • More therapeutic scaffolding around them
  • Curriculum of love
  • Let's stop treating them as an adult, treat as children
  • Be  generous about our system of interpretation
  • Broken soul means normal in outside world
  • We are children
  • Interpret someone evil or not rely on humor
  • Humor is vital to try lovable idiot
  • Secrets are okay
  • Loneliness cannot end with birth of love
  • You cannot understand yourself no one can mind read you
Love Advice
  • Gently understood you are crazy
  • Gently understood you partner crazy
  • Bring communication to the therapeutic level
  • Accept practical venture
  • Unhappy great deal of time
  • Embark on journey

Happy Finding Right Partner!!!

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