Knowing your partner

Alan De Bottom videos gave a lot of insight on knowing what is a relationship, how to make it a successful one

Couple of lessons learnt are

#1. Accept your partner is your teacher
#2. Choose to listen and learn from each other
#3. The relationship is not developed in silence
#4. Look into balancing life activities, traits
#5. Talk about your preferences, Compromise for meaningful goals
#6. Give space and open up and remain transparent to your partner
#7. Accept the imperfections
#8. Golden Rule - There is no one perfect, Accept imperfections
#9. Learn to let go a bit of yourself to accept the person with imperfections
#10. Be a constant learner to understand each other, demonstrate kindness and support

With time and bonding, kids, care, affection would continue to mature to understand the love for each other.

Happy Living!!!

Alain de Botton - The Future Of The Way We Live, Love And Work

Love in Romanticism Age

• Tolerated your partner at early ages
• We are all heirs of Romanticism
• Context and society dependant love
• The way we love in dependant on Society
• Romanticism is an ideology. It says soulmate exists
• Instinctive attraction comes when we meet the special person
• Definitive end of Alienation and Loneliness
• Reveal shamed and Vulnerability 
• Tied to long summer afternoons, Walks, Waterfalls, Sunsets, Clouds, Special feelings
• Love and sex go together
• Romantics believe sex is an expression of love. So, Adultery becomes the tragedy in Romanticism
• Romanticism is the greatest enemy of love
• We are not pure, kind, living beings, We are dangerous human beings
• Relationships are tricky, Mothers and friends do not care much
• People are not bothered to invest in mutual enlightenment
• Earlier times marriage has a reason (Religion / Caste)
• Now it is instinct
• Recreating pattern of earlier childhood
• We are drawn to people we feel familiar
• Special feeling means they didn't satisfy your friends requirement for suffering
• Being yourself is a curse
• FUll dimensions are troublesome
• Early days liberating love
• Later conflict between love and honesty
• Moment of loneliness begins
• There is no such intuitive understanding
• This is also a disaster
• Long term without speaking its not possible
• Outbreak of sulking
• There is no implicit understanding
• Accept whole of you
• Awkward movements of critics
• Breach is not criticism
• Greek believed love is an attraction to perfection, virtue, and accomplishment
• Weakness, Vulnerability is human
• Mutual education is love
• The good teacher feels relaxed, a legitimate feeling
• Long-Term Love is not shouting
• No humiliation
• Education is beginning of love, not a breach of love
• Education is not a betrayal of ground rules of love

Love in Realistic Perspective

• Reinvent Love
• Get away from instinct
• More therapeutic scaffolding around them
• Curriculum of love
• Let's stop treating them as an adult, treat as children
• Be  generous about our system of interpretation
• Broken soul means normal in outside world
• We are children
• Interpret someone evil or not rely on humor
• Humor is vital to try lovable idiot
• Secrets are okay
• Loneliness cannot end with birth of love
• You cannot understand yourself no one can mind read you

Love Advice

• Gently understood you are crazy
• Gently understood you partner crazy
• Bring communication to the therapeutic level
• Accept practical venture
• Unhappy great deal of time
• Embark on journey

Happy Finding Right Partner!!!

Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person - Alain de Botton

• Turn Rage into Grief
• What lies behind Rage? Scratch surface of every angry person you will find hope
• Wild optimism drives Rage, Reckless faith of hope, Turbocharging the Rage
• Diminish Hope around Love
• All of us will not manage to find the right person but Good Enough person and that's Success
• We are very strange, We don't know very much about Strangeness
• Ex-Loves Vital Source of Knowledge
• All of us addicts, not in terms of substance, Pattern of behavior
• Addicted as long as it keeps us away from yourself
• Technology / Distractions make us addicts
• Disaster until you know yourself
• Love requires us to approach and convey I need to you
• The impulse to be strong, defend, Anxiously attached, Nasty, Procedural
• Avoidant - Pretend you don't when you need, Don't reveal need for other person, Cycle of low trust
• Everyone is a small child inside 'I need you'
• We don't know 'How to Love'
• Love is a skill, Feelings will lead to mistakes
• Loving vs Being Loved (the Fun bit)
• To Love (Have the willingness to apply charity and generosity of interpretation)
• Our behaviors are tricky
• Anyone will be a mixture of good and bad
• Parental situations help children learn about relationships
• Do not divide people, Everyone whom we love will disappoint us
• Maturity is the ability to see there are no Heros or Sinners
• Psychological maturity - Anyone whom we love is a mixture of good and bad
• Love - Toleration of weakness
• Way to find a good partner is to follow your heart 
• Reasoning / Analyzing is also important
• Love also bounds upon childhood sufferings
• We find partners who will be familiar
• We want to make someone suffer who will make us suffer for love
• The more right for us less we need to explain (Child and parent love)
• Without having said in words
• Understood wordlessly
• Sulking (We suck with people who we feel should understand us)
• We reserve for people who trigger a negative reaction in us
• We want them to read our souls
• Catastrophy for lasting relationships
• Root to marriage - Become a teacher
• The culture within a couple to teach each other
• Full articulation of what we are is to accept another person will educate us
• Criticism wrong word for a better version of yourself
• Good Enough!!!
• None of us are perfect
• To be in company, negotiate imperfection everyday
• Compatability is an achievement of love
• Change how you characteristically respond to tricky types
• Recognise ability of compromise
• Ability to compromise for love life
• Marry the wrong person and make mistakes because you are human

Live Relationships , Talk Often, Love the Flaws, Live Today !!!

Self Accountability

The first article on relationship dependency calls out

• Personal accountability for our own emotional needs
• Our own ownership and responsibility in both good times and bad times.

The next article is on Zen wisdom

• A new definition of meditation is - "Practice being in the moment"
• Just makes sure you enjoy most moments of your day

The most beautiful lines are below from the post
"We often look at outside sources for happiness: Travel, a new job, moving to a different city or county, a new partner, more experiences, etc. But if you’re unhappy now, you will probably be an unhappy person with new experiences."

Find Happiness right where you are.

• Develop habits and rituals that support what you’re trying to achieve in life
• The most loving and deep relationships are built on a very simple foundation: giving and gratitude.

Happy Learning!!!

Algorithm for Happiness

Happy Living!!!

Live the moment, Learn something, be grateful to Life!!!

A series of articles that unlocks the perceptions of travel, learning, finding the wow moment in life.

The first article about travel and perceptions of travel -

The key lessons are
#1. Save more and plan for travel, Reality is always expensive than what you actually save
#2. Travel with an open mind and take notes of your experience
#3. Talk to people connect with them know their story

The next best article is a totally contrasting article 

Some of the key lessons are
#1. Our happiness is tied to things we do not have, Excitement comes down after you buy materialistic possessions
#2. The routine we consider mundane is the box of experience we feel trapped.
#3. We underestimate the power of finding meaning in current life
#4. Inspect the mindful awareness of today's life and then the true amazement comes within it
#5. Be grateful and have gratitude for your life

"Embrace the life we have with the joys, its flaws, and everything in between"

The third article is important with respect to learning and knowledge, This is the most beautiful one that enlightens the importance of learning

The key lessons are
#1. Dedicate yourself to constant learning
#2. Knowledge is the new money
#3. Intellectual capital will always trump financial capital in the long run
#4. Knowledge often serves as a medium of exchange and store of value
#5. Selling your knowledge as a consultant, becoming a thought leader
#6. Master the skill of learning to learn

The beauty of life is
#1. Showing gratitude for people who look for you
#2. Gaze the stars and walk in the moonlight
#3. Take a midnight walk thinking about your life where you are now
#4. A little care about your health time to time, Fast often if you overeat
#5. Connect with Startups and solve problems, Find the intersection of your passion and expertise
#6. Reading a good article and able to relate to it and feeling good about it
#7. Accept all surprise, sad, happy with every moment and cut the ego of every experience

This is what is the actual beauty of life. Being able to goto bed without regrets and live each day to the fullest!!!

Happy Living!!!

Less Regretful Life

Life is a craft you are endlessly working out!!! 

Happy Living!!!

Quit Social Media

Social Media - Bytes of Personal Data, Minutes of Attention, Tend to make you addictive. Fragmented attention to large portion of day, Reduce your concentration focus, Care what other people think of us, technology companies control dial, social media depression, Highly addictive internet and social media addiction, Interfere medium and long term goals, Obsessive addiction of social media technology, perceived sense of perfection, fake brutal popularity, vicious cycle of likes, social media is not real, shows our best life not 99% of life, competition for user attention, If you feed the beast, beast will destroy you, Short term dopamine driven feedback loops, mistrust, misinformation, global problem

Be Real, Focus on Self!!!

Born Again

Life needs to be re-invented time to time to find a new meaning and perspective. Fight club is a perfect movie in terms of finding yourself and reinventing yourself. I have followed it closely one more time and captured some memorable lines from the movie

• Losing all hope is freedom
• Everything is a copy of a copy of copy
• Every Evening I died and born again resurrected
• She ruined everything
• You are never really asleep, never really awake
• This is your life, and it is dying one minute at a time
• You wake up at a different time as a different person
• We buy products for lifestyle obsession
• Things you own end up owning you
• Is it a problem for you to ask ?
• I wanted you to hit me as hard as you can ?
• I don't want to die without any scars
• After fighting everything else in life has volume turned down, you can deal with anything
• It isn't about winning or losing, nothing is solved but nothing matters
• She is a predator posing as a house pet, stay away from her
• I became a calm little center of the world
• Get yourself together
• Don't shut the pain
• Without pain, without sacrifice there is nothing
• You have to consider the probablity that god does not like you
• We are god unwanted children
• First you should give up fear, know that someday, you are gonna die
• It's only after we have lost everything we are free to do anything
• Slaves with white collars
• We buy shit we don't need
• Our greatest depression is our lives
• On long enough timeline, survivial rate for everyone drops to zero
• If you are not on your way to become a vetenarian, You will be dead in three weeks
• No fear, No distractions
• The ability to let that which does not matter truly aside
• Its not the end of the world, go away
• You are the same decaying matter as everything else
• I felt like destroying something beautiful
• Stop trying to control everything, just let go
• All the ways you wish you could be, its me
• I am smart, capable and most importantly, I'm free in all ways that you are not
• They see themselves as they would like to be
• Little by Little you are just letting yourself become Tyler Durden
• You are the worst thing that ever happened to me
• Everything is going to be fine
• You met me at a very strange time of my life

A lot of things the movie throws perspectives on life, money, relationships, ambitions, peace etc. 

Happy Learning!!!

Connect with People

Connect with people - Share your learnings - Learn from them - Look for opportunities to collaborate - One day your passion will turn into product!!!




Happy Learning!!!

Training your mind

Being well emotionally, self-aware and physical well are what contribute to a Happy Life.

Happy Living!!!

Emotional Intelligence

Do not expect things to happen the way you want it to happen. Do not hide anger, guilt, shame. Feel the moment, let it go. We have to encounter several situations in life where things will not happen the way we want to. Do not blame on others or circumstances. Feel the pain, go through it. Emotional intelligence also comes from socializing. Socialize with people but do not live in illusion this is what we need to do to prove our point.

• Stop Quora
• Practice Habits
• Practice Compassion
• Practice Positivity

Happy Learning!!!

Emotional Intelligence

Keep Learning!!!

Life in a few lines

Sometimes lyrics in songs carry a lot of thoughts, advice to life. One such masterpiece I keep listening for ages I see a new meaning presently.

All the screenshots are from link . Credit goes to them. I keep it for my personal reference

The interpretation is simple - A great relationship will compliment all our relationships (Friends / Parents / Siblings) and push us 10X happier and productive in life. 

Happy Day!!!

Accept Mistakes - Live Life

Sometimes we need to accept things in life rather than trying to find fault in it. A mistake becomes guilt when you accept it. Mistakes become anger when you blame on another person.A mistake is a mistake no matter what. Do not find someone to blame it.

Rather than showing anger, ego, accept the fact its a mistake and you did it. Move on. (Source - Pinterest)

Happy Living in Peace!!!

Searching for love to escape ourselves

Good Notes from the talk

• Breakup makes you vulnerable
• People leave after making you weak
• After all excitment, fantasy you are nothing
• It was magnet of chaos
• "Not Approaching love in right way"
• Continue to chase chaos
• Love can be beautiful, exciting, escapism
• Minimalist strategy for dating
• Desire is good and human, Sometimes we go crazy, ridiculous
• Loneliness, Escapism is not love
• We are not getting what we are entitled to
• When you sleep don't think of past, needs
• Focus your mind on real work
• Fix the work that stops you becoming Happy
• Ridiculous ideas of romance, needs, Inability to get through without smart phones
• Discover more about self
• Do not recreate same mistakes
• Be aware again
• See a shadow of youself
• Stop waiting for anyone come in your life
• Live in here and now
• More grounded
• Do not run away from your life
• Be alone until you find someone else
• Collect and carry with us throughout our life
• We do not need to prove anymore
• "Just be"

Happy Self-Discovering!!!

Monk Mentality

A Nice video to train yourself and keep yourself focused

• Train your mind and focus on self control
• Focus on where you wanted and when you wanted to be
• Detached and undeterred from external ups and downs
• Navigate fun, challenges with balance without being too excited or pleasure
• Navigate every situation

Learning's

• Having money, fame just doesn't add up without peace of mind
• Plant trees under whose shade we do not plant to sit
• Selfless sacrifice - Give up for service of others
• Never Hurt, Be kind, Do not carry any grudge in life
• Fulfillment, Purpose also matters on top of accomplishment
• Fast forward and ask yourself is there where I want to be ?
• Find your path from Observing, Questioning, Seeking from yourself
• Find an Uplifting powerful path
• Hypothesis - Test - Open yourself to new experiences
• We are surrounded by same thinking
• Seek out the truth, Find purpose and master your mind
• Opening yourself to new role models
• Do not fit yourself into boxes that we see
• I am not I think I am not your think I am, I am what I think you think I am, Do not give identify based on your surroundings
• Self-Actualization, Self-Exploration
• Being exposed to new people, new role models
• Take it seriously, Observe them, Work for them, work with them
• Observing, Focusing, Shadowing
• Bring mindset into real world
• Mindset is trainable, feed clarity and perspective, Pull back / close in from something
• Nothing owns you even if you are close to everything
• Do not let anything consume you or own you
• Ability for more clarity
• Overcome ego, envy, anger, negative state is what matters in life
• Enough clarity to purify self
• Time, energy, clarity for self purification
• Environment that allows you to be more purified
• Working in alignment of Head (Vision) and Heart (Understand your intuition, connect deeper)
• Realize we need to be sustainable, service, give it forward

Accept, Realize, Apologize, Adapt, Grow, Keep going!!!

Learnability

• Identify emerging trend and adapt to them
• Agile mind ready for new challenges
• Endlessly Flexible to stay ahead of the game
• Constantly reskilling, ongoing learning
• Keep going

Do you have it? Read more: https://t.co/JfLYSQhMAW pic.twitter.com/wpJDNP5zTC

— World Economic Forum (@wef) July 27, 2017

Keep Rocking!!!

Learning from Nature

Last couple of months have been period of self-unlearn, re-learn and re-look life in different perspective. Have been to a beautiful place of nature in North Karnataka Chickmangalur. Nature teaches a lot of beautiful things

• Life outside city with beautiful and unpolluted air
• The true dimensions of nature
• Minimalist living

There are different learnings from the Trip for Personal, Professional learnings.

"Have worried enough for things missed in Life, Time to move on"
"Always be on the positive side of Life"

Every phase of life has its own fantasies, needs. Life sometimes needs some knots to connect different broken pieces. 

Stay Alive, Be Active

Happy Learning Stay Happy Stay Alive, Keep Rocking!!!

Lessons from Failure

Failure provides more lessons than a success. Success gives pride, failure gives humbleness. A blissful failure is better than a minimal success. Failure provides an opportunity to introspect, unlearn and relearn. Do not carry failures close to your heart. You have to continue the rest of the journey and bring more success. Live on the positive side of life.

Keep going!!